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Attachment needs refer to our basic need for emotional closeness, security, and safety. These needs are formed early in life, typically through our interactions with primary caregivers, and continue to shape our relationships throughout our lives. When it comes to couple relationships, attachment needs can play a significant role in how we feel close to our partners.

Attachment needs in a couple’s relationship can manifest in various ways, such as the need for physical touch and affection, emotional support and validation, and intimacy and connection. When these needs are met, we feel a sense of emotional security and connection with our partner, which allows us to develop a deeper and more fulfilling relationship.

However, when attachment needs are not met, it can lead to feelings of emotional distance and disconnection. This can create a sense of anxiety or insecurity in the relationship and may lead to behaviours such as withdrawing or becoming critical towards our partner. Over time, these negative patterns can create a negative interaction cycle, leading to further emotional disconnection and distress.

In Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), therapists work with couples to identify their attachment needs and to understand how these needs are being met or not met in their relationship. This can involve exploring early experiences and relationships that may have shaped attachment patterns, as well as identifying negative interaction cycles that are preventing couples from meeting each other’s attachment needs.

By understanding and addressing attachment needs in the context of the couple’s relationship, EFT can help couples develop new patterns of interaction that promote emotional security and closeness. This can involve experiencing new communication interactions in the session, developing greater emotional awareness and expression, and building a stronger sense of connection and intimacy.

Overall, attachment needs play a fundamental role in how we experience and navigate our relationships. By understanding and addressing these needs in the context of the couple’s relationship, EFT can help couples overcome negative patterns and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships based on emotional security and closeness.