Research on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in the context of pre-marital counselling has shown promising results. EFT is based on attachment theory and focuses on strengthening emotional bonds between partners, addressing core relational dynamics, and enhancing secure attachment, which is crucial for long-term relationship success. The following points summarise key research findings supporting the use of EFT in pre-marital counselling:
- Enhanced Communication Skills: EFT helps couples recognise and break negative interaction patterns, fostering better communication. A 2024 comprehensive meta-analysis indicates that 70% of couples who undergo EFT will be symptom-free by the end of treatment. This highlights the therapy’s effectiveness in addressing relationship distress, and efficacy in improving communication and conflict resolution skills, which are central to pre-marital relationships.
- Increased Relationship Satisfaction: Studies show that couples who engage in EFT pre-marital counselling report higher relationship satisfaction and greater emotional intimacy than those who do not. Relationship satisfaction is crucial for building a strong foundation for marriage.
- Improved Emotional Bonding: EFT focuses on fostering emotional responsiveness between partners. Research indicates that emotionally responsive partners tend to have more fulfilling and lasting relationships. Pre-marital counselling with EFT helps partners understand and respond to each other’s emotional needs, reducing relational anxiety.
- Long-Term Effects: EFT has shown long-term benefits for couples. A study in 2017 indicated that couples who underwent EFT reported sustained improvements in relationship satisfaction and emotional bonding up to two years after the intervention.
- Preventive Approach: As a preventive intervention, EFT helps couples address issues before they escalate into major conflicts. Pre-marital EFT interventions can be seen as inoculating the relationship against future stressors, providing couples with tools to handle future challenges more effectively.
Summary of What Pre-Marital Counselling Looks Like Using EFT
Pre-marital counselling using EFT typically involves 4-12 sessions, depending on the needs of the couple. Here’s an overview of how the process unfolds:
- Assessment Phase: The therapist starts by assessing the couple’s relationship dynamics, individual attachment styles, and key areas of concern. This phase involves identifying negative interaction cycles that may already exist and understanding each partner’s emotional triggers.
- De-escalation of Conflict: The next phase focuses on reducing negative interaction patterns (e.g., blaming, withdrawing) and teaching the couple to recognise when they are falling into unhelpful cycles. This de-escalation helps reduce immediate tensions.
- Building Emotional Responsiveness: The core of EFT is about increasing emotional awareness and responsiveness between partners. In pre-marital counselling, couples learn to express their emotional needs and vulnerabilities openly, fostering a deeper emotional bond.
- Developing Secure Bonds: Couples work on creating a secure emotional connection, building trust, and enhancing intimacy. By focusing on attachment needs, couples learn to be emotionally available and supportive of each other.
- Consolidation: The final stage consolidates the progress made in therapy. Couples develop tools for maintaining their emotional bond, handling future conflicts, and staying connected over time. This ensures that the positive changes in their relationship are long-lasting.
By focusing on emotional bonding and attachment needs, EFT pre-marital counselling helps couples build a strong relational foundation, enhancing their ability to face future challenges together.
Testimonials
"Thanks, Aaron, we could feel the benefits of each couple counselling session, even in our first session. We had done lots of work with different psychologists individually and as a couple prior to our first session, but the work with you feels deeper and different, in a good way. Just by helping us to slow down during the session makes us more aware of our primary emotions."
“Aaron is a truly talented psychotherapist and relationship counsellor who cares deeply for his clients. I recommend his services without hesitation. Thanks for taking our marriage from ‘good’ to ‘amazing’ Aaron, we are forever grateful!”
“[What I like about the way my counsellor works] Was able to bring out a lot of things about myself that I hadn’t realised. I did find counselling helpful and I thank Aaron for his time and advice.”
“My husband and I were very fortunate to see you … You (without a doubt in my mind) saved our marriage. Everything is wonderful currently … Eternally grateful. I truly mean every word. Very grateful to you”
"Aaron was very straight forward and honest. Clear about the approach and consistent in helping us change our patterns. The greatest accomplishment through this counselling process is connecting with my partner on an emotional level."
"I couldn't find the words ... Thank you so much for helping us throughout my family problem and obstacles ... not just our marital problems but more particularly to my son ... you're such a truly blessing to him."
"What we gain through the couple counselling process with Alive Counselling was greater insights into family of origins and the sources of [our] emotional pain. Stronger connection to partner."
“Thank you for the difference you’ve made to the life of our family. We are so blessed to have found you.”
“[My partner] and I are doing well. We continue to use your strategies to slow things down ... We have also recommended you to friends of ours.”
"Aaron helped my partner and I reconnect. Not only with each other but within ourselves. Really listening to each other and not just 'doing the angry, dysfunctional dance'. We received lots of practical tips to manage in times of stress."
“[The benefits or changes I noticed in myself] Being able to label emotions and address them in the moment and being more mindful of my partners emotions.”
"Aaron is very patient and level headed ... What we gain through the couple counselling process with Alive Counselling was better awareness of the emotional cycle and triggers with my partner. What was most helpful about the counselling process was slowing the emotional reaction down to get to a calmer position ."
"The greatest accomplishment through this couple counselling process, was developing emotional vulnerability and being celebrated for that. What I like about Aaron is his excellent construction of a safe environment. Very educational process."
“We used to think the ’honeymoon phase’ is just the early experience of a relationship that will end, and did not realise it is possible to feel the same ‘honeymoon’ experience again. Through the counselling process, we are so excited that we can connect deeply like we did early in our relationship.”
“[What I gain from the counselling process with Alive Counselling] It reminded me that there is a reason for everyone’s behaviour and to be more conscious and empathetic of that.”
“[The most helpful part of the counselling process] Insight to where a lot of my characteristics come from and why. Being reminded of what the basic needs of every human is.”
